.:Perfect Chaos:.

So, this week I came home, to good old Belmont County (you love it…you hate it). I was supposed to be coming home for my grandma’s surgery, but it was postponed due to the fact that she got sick. Anyways, it’s kind of funny how the little things that I’ve never noticed before suddenly come to light and smack me on the head when I least expect it. For instance, this year, I have come to realize the importance of family, and how lucky I am to have mine. It’s not until you almost lose someone that you realize how much they really mean to you, and you start to think about how you’re life would be without them. 

While I love being in college, and having my own life, I now realize how much I miss my family (not just the biological relatives, either). I don’t think that I’ve realized how much life has gone on without me during the past 4 years that I’ve been away. I think that this is a big reason why I decided to take a year off next year - I really want to come back and spend time with the family that I’ve missed dearly in the 4 years I’ve been gone, and to catch up on the events that I’ve missed as well. Things happen for a reason, and lately, I’ve begun to realize that there were a bunch more reasons for me to not go to grad school next year than I realized when I made the decision. Family is hugely important to me - we are really close, and I hate missing out on the things here because I’m at school. At the same time, said family might drive me nuts when I have to move back in the house next year - it’s a double edged sword of sorts. 

I’m glad that I’m realizing all of this now. It would really suck if I didn’t figure this out until later, and then have missed tons of time up until this point. This whole thing is also making me feel really old. I remember looking at my parents and thinking how old they were, and how they would never understand me and my problems. It’s funny - my mom is now one of my best friends, and she suddenly doesn’t seem so old. My little brother, who was the most annoying kid in the world at one time, has grown up, and really isn’t a kid anymore. 

Anyways, this quarter has really given me time to think. I’ve done a lot of self-evaluation, contemplation, and praying. I realize that there are a lot of things in my life that I need to change, some good, some bad, and that I really need to start appreciating my life for what it is, rather than hating it for what it’s not. I’m incredibly lucky and fortunate for having what I do, and having the awesome family and friends that I do, regardless of how dysfunctional they are. So, if you hear me complaining about how much my life sucks, please look at me (or smack me depending on the severity of the infraction) and remind me that it could be worse. 

The other random rambling I have is this: people need to THINK about what they are doing. Regardless of whether it is getting preggers at 16 (or getting someone preggers), driving recklessly, stopping in the middle of the road for no good reason and causing a traffic jam, or just being stupid about what they are doing and who they are doing it with, people should think before they act. There have been a lot of situations recently where I have found myself wondering what in the world people are doing and WHY. While I know that people have probably asked that about something I did at one point (please let’s not bring that up), I wonder why people choose to be repeat offenders. I mean….REALLY?